Prince Harry is a Virgo, just like me, Beyonce, Hugh Grant and Idris Elba. Harry’s birthday is September 15th, this coming Friday. Before Meghan Markle was on the scene, I always got the feeling that Harry’s birthdays were low-key debauched, like some really crazy sh-t would go down but since the parties only involved posh people and aristocrats, nobody snitched to the ‘bloids. But since he’s been with Meg for more than a year, I think his birthdays are quieter in general now. Our princeling is growing up and he’s with a lady who has work commitments in another country. Meghan has to be in Toronto to film Suits this week, so they had to celebrate his birthday early, before she left. This is according to E! News, who always gets these suspicious leaks. I let my mind wander as I thought of the hot, dirty birthday sex they had over the weekend. They’re still clearly in the first flush of “whenever we’re in the same city, we have to be in bed together” love. It’s hot to imagine. Seriously, let your mind wander and really think about it. As for the rest of it… I think it’s a little bit shady that the past six weeks or so is the longest continuous time they’ve spent together, but then again, I usually think long-distance relationships are doomed. It’s especially difficult if it’s long-distance from the very beginning! But hopefully Meghan is leaving Suits and then magically she’ll move to London and the engagement will be announced and bippity boppity boop, everything will be fine!

E!: Prince Harry & Meghan Markle celebrated his 33rd birthday quietly & early